Terrible Video Game Travel Destinations

 

 

Exploring in video games, just like in real life, is a great way to learn about your surroundings and just have fun. The amount of money people spend on travelling to real life places dwarfs that of virtually going there but to actually compare the two is kind of ridiculous and an incredibly geeky thing to do.

Enter me.

There are some terrible places on this planet I would not like to visit because, well, I don’t think they’re safe and any appealing aspect pales by comparison to the definite risk. Thankfully, you can see what everyday life is like for the citizens of these worlds that you would never check out if they actually existed.

SR388 (Metroid Homeworld)

The planet featured in one of the least played and referenced of the Metroid games is the place where the Metroid’s flourished and where you were responsible for their eradication. As a flying parasite that latches onto its host and doesn’t let go until all their life is drained, I cannot imagine a worse place to go sightseeing than SR388 – even Zebes would be better. I don’t know anyone who would say ‘oh totally… I’d love to go there’ unless they didn’t know what a Metroid was.

World of Ruin (Final Fantasy VI)

The World of Balance had its problems too, what with a crazy empire that seemed bent on oppression and absolute power, but at least it didn’t have dragons wandering around wreaking havoc on whoever gets in their way. The very name summons images of a place you just don’t want to go and once you actually go there and are sacrificed to Kefka and his insane followers, you’ll thank your lucky stars that this is only a fantasy.

Char_SC2_Art5Char (Zerg Domain)

To be honest, there isn’t really a world in the Starcraft universe that would be worth checking out, but at least on a Terran or Protoss world you could at least survive for a few minutes. The zerg are merciless and would rip you  new one and assimilate your being into their collective before you knew what hit you – just ask Kerrigan. No, it’s best if you just avoid any zerg fortifications on your video game travels and probably the whole Starcraft realm altogether.

Wherever Diablo is Set

Blizzard again makes it onto this list because their worlds hugely suck as real life destinations. On first appearance, Diablo might be the most habitable of the three games, but on closer inspection you find out that nobody is safe and those who you think are your friends are actually hell spawn that are trying to summon the dark lord to enslave the planet. Even angels can’t win! True, there are some amazing sights to behold and the moody atmosphere of the games beginning may lure you in, but with hordes of demons roaming the countryside and people just kind of taking it in stride while living in terror… yeah… you might prefer a few Metroids hovering around.

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